"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves."
"How handsome you are, my lover! Oh how charming! And our bed is verdant."
"The beams of our houses are cedars; our rafters are firs."
"I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys."
"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens."
"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste." -Glenda and Hugo...on the top of their climb-
Ok, not really...these verses are from the Song of Songs. If it were Hugo...it would go down like this, "Sup girl, lookin' good...come here wit yo fine a$$. Lets slow jam some Ginuwine and come ride this pony."
So the verbage is a little different today...but the intent, the attraction, and the love is the same. For the past several weeks, I have been really thinking about how married folks...especially those married for a while, communicate with one another. I too have been looking at my marriage with Sarah and how we work. How do we communicate? Do we whisper sweet nothings? Do we wink at each other?...Say I Love you in that romantic, red wine and cheesecake kind of way and not just the usual running out of the house, getting off the phone, kids yelling in the background kind of way?
The idea for this post came to me about a month ago, while at work...I asked several of my married (long married) co-workers when the last time they paid their spouse a sweet compliment. The last time they lovingly said, "You look beautiful!...You are amazing!...Or in Hugo's case...You fine, girl!...to their wives. Most of my co-workers looked at each other confused...as if I asked them to explain the theory of quantam entanglement.
For the most part, I got the answers I was expecting: A bunch of "Don't remember...Months...Never." Of course, there's the one guy who ruins it for all guys who says he showers is wife with compliments "all the time!" Whatever man...
Personally, I am awful at telling Sarah how I feel about her. What I think of her. What goes on in my mind when she looks cute in her clothes...or puts her hair up to work out...or when I glance over and see her smiling. I just don't do a good job of telling her that she is (the best, most awesome, wonderful, beautiful, most amazing, the prettiest girl)! I told my co-workers that it probably had been over a month since I gave Sarah a genuine, loving, selfless compliment. And let me stress selfless! Because telling your partner that she is ___________! to get some lovin' does not count...
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." (Proverbs 18:21) and that "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body" (Proverbs 16:24).
So we all know words can tear down (death) people. But do we consider the opposite to be true? Do we consider that our words...our sweet words brings out life in one another? God tells us that our tongue can destroy...because our words hold an enormous amount of power. But this same power can build up life. Crazy, but true...our words can build...build life! God continues to tell us that these gracious words...sweet like honey words are good for our soul. They are medicine for our lives. God tells us that when we whisper these verbal spoons of honey...we are nursing each other back to spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational health.
In regards to our spouses...specifically my wife, Sarah. God has been telling me, "Alf...speak life into your marriage...speak truth into your wife...offer your sweetest words for her...its time heal and build and bring life to your marriage."
...and this isn't enough for Sarah. No, God has been telling me that, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver" (Proverbs 25:11). There is a perfect time and place. A perfect way of saying it because a genuine compliment offered at the right time is sweet honey to Sarah's soul.
So this is to you my sweet Sarah. I love you...I'll never be able to tell you enough. I'll never be able to repay you all the "I love you's" that I owe you. I'll never be able go back and re-tell you what I think of you right now in this moment.
But what I can do...is tell you right now. I love you. You are the most precious, sweetest, most important person in my life. I am always thinking of you...and always desiring to make you proud of me....
and...by the way...
"Damn you fine girl!"
When: February 14, 2015
Where: Reimers Ranch and Austin, TX.
Who: Couple College kids who verbally committed to marriage, especially after disappearing as much as they did...Reyes-Ortiz's, McCringleberry's, Pasquels, Hendrix's, and the Hardins.
So after a pitiful performance out at the crag...we all rebounded nicely at the bar. For Valentine's dinner, we all went to Bangerz in Austin. A cool sausage and beirgarten that the Hardin's recommended.
Anyways...don't want to fool you...which pictures of us might lead you to believe that we are hardcore crooked "I" G-folk (well maybe Hugo)...but none of us made it to 10 p.m. We were all in bed. And that my friends...is not Thug Life. Anyways...I digress.
Again, thanks to Brad and Amy...for hosting us, always. Thanks to my friends for making this happen. And thanks to my sweet Sarah who would rather spend Valentine's down and dirty at the crag...with friends...and good beer, than at an overcrowded, overpriced restaurant that I can't afford. I love you baby boo! You my rib!